I didn’t even know my eyes were swamped
Until I saw the candle lights wear stilettos
And click their heels
Against blood-bathed parquetry.
And lain in pools of rubric
Eyelids hugged the Uranus in his eyes- so hard that I knew they’d never part
Eyelashes skirted his orbs- never to be wished upon again
His eyebrows- like arcs broken off the very circle of life
Looking just the way they did
When he would fall asleep
With a chest that rose and fell to rhythm.
In that flesh- freshly bitten into
Sat scribbled songs
Of the stems he put to bed behind my ears;
Of the way our smiles touched
And the blue roses he left in my lap.
roses aren’t blue
These are reconstructions, not recollections
I made up the memories-
only so I could validate the vastness of the loss I felt
On losing someone who wasn’t mine in the first place
That bothers me too.